Dear Sweet Briana,
Sometimes I just feel like wallowing in the grief and pain of losing you and just crying and screaming until I can no longer. For some reason it makes me feel better. I felt like doing that just now and was looking at your Totsites. I was greeted with a beautiful picture of you, sitting on the countertop with a giant watermelon. You were quite thrilled, evident by the enormous smile that stretched across your face. I can almost remember taking that picture, your daddy by my side. I was nervous about you sitting on the countertop, so with my hand by your side, I tentatively took a quick shot of my cutie pie and her watermelon. Avalyn loves watermelon. She would bathe in one if she could. Actually she almost has. I know you would have too. How much I regret that you never had the chance.
As I was allowing myself a moment to cry, I stumbled across a poem in your guestbook. This one really opened up the floodgates, but it was just so reassuring. Sometimes I feel so distant from you, and with every flip of the calendar, I feel more and more like I am losing you. This poem reminds me that although physically you are gone, as long as you stay alive in my heart, you'll always be near.
Don't Mourn For Me
Mother, please don't mourn for me; I'm still here, though you don't see.
I'm right by your side, each night and day
and within your heart I long to stay.
My body is gone but I'm always near. I'm everything you feel, see or hear.
My spirit is free, but I'll never depart
as long as you keep me alive in your heart.
I'll never wander out of your sight--I'm the brightest star
on a summer night. I'll never be beyond your reach--
I'm the warm moist sand when you're at the beach.
I'm the colorful leaves when fall comes around,
And the pure white snow that blankets the ground.
I'm the beautiful flowers of which you're so fond--
The clear cool water in a quiet pond.
I'm the first bright blossom you'll see in the spring;
the first warm raindrop that April will bring.
I'm the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine,
and you'll see that the face in the moon is mine.
When you start thinking there's no one to love you,
you can talk to me through the Lord above you.
I'll whisper my answer through the leaves on the trees,
and you'll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze.
I'm the hot salty tears that flow when you weep
and the beautiful dreams that come while you sleep.
I'm the smile you see on baby's face. Just look for me, Mommy,
I'm everyplace!
