Saturday, January 1, 2011

It's Another New Year


Dear Briana,

We welcomed a new year today; it's officially the start of the year 2011. That number is just crazy to me - 2011 - two thousand and eleven. That's a lot of years and there were many before. It makes me realize how much our individual day-to-day existence and experiences are nothing but a vapor - a quick flash, or a blink of the eye, in the lens of eternity. This existence and experience is so profound and critical to us in this mere moment, but in the scope of time, it means relatively nothing. Our vitality here on earth is just a precursor to eternity, where time is of no significance. We are in perpetual worry of making time, saving time, being on time, etc, but really what is time...how much do we really need, and how much do we really have? We know very little about time, because this time that we have and keep record of is just like us, nothing but dust.

What I really want to say out of all of this gibberish and ranting is that I spend all of this time sulking and fearing and regretting and every other 'ing' and of what purpose is it? When I will see you again and none of this will matter, this earth, or time, nor worry....And whatever time really is and for the rest of it I will spend with you. My heart rests and keeps peace in this...what I believe to be truth.

I miss you just as much as ever in this new year. It may be 2011 but I still hold precious your life as I did in 2007. You are forever and eternally my daughter. I love you so so much.

As always,
Mommy