Dearest Briana,
Your sister has been home for just over 8 weeks now and has been keeping mommy and daddy extremely busy. Avalyn is changing so much every day and her increasing smiles and long, lovely gazes remind me of the joy I had felt with you. There are so many reminders of your lovliness now that she is here. So many things she does, her facial expressions and sounds she makes bring me back to the days I spent with you. Sometimes that feels good, other times it simply hurts.
Last night I had a bit of a meltdown, curled up in a ball in the corner of Avalyn's room, your photo album in hand, and just cried until I felt better. It felt relieving to have a good cry again and to really look at your pictures with the intention to....remember. I barely have the time anymore to even take a moment to gather my thoughts, so allowing myself those moments last night was special, even though they hurt.
Even though I don't have the time to really intently think about you and cry over you, I still miss you so much. I hate the idea that I will remember less and grieve less often with time. I have to really dismiss the thought that I am forgetting about you if I don't take the time to remember. I will never forget about you! You are always foremost in my thoughts and a bubbling life stream in my heart. You have shaped my life and my heart more than I could have ever shaped yours. I love you so much and miss you so much more. That will always hold true...and this love I have for you can never be forgotten.
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